My Depression Is Getting Bad Again
My Girlfriend's Depression Is Bringing Me Down. I Feel Helpless!
My girlfriend has been depressed for a number of years, unable to shake feelings of sadness and hopelessness that carry over into near every attribute of our life together. I practise everything I can to help her, but I feel like I'thou just propping her up, and despite the medications she's taking she doesn't seem to ever improve. I want so much to help her, just I feel similar I have nothing else to give. It's to the bespeak where her low is dragging me downwardly with her, though I would never say that to her. I feel as much like a caretaker as I practise a young man. I have idea almost leaving, but I'k afraid it would devastate her, and I truthfully don't know that she would survive it. Am I codependent? What'due south my issue, and what steps can or should I take that would help both her and me? —Dragged Down
Honey Dragged Downwards,
It sounds like yous have been a tremendous source of beloved, force, and support for your girlfriend in her boxing with depression. That takes incredible patience and compassion, but it tin also take a price on you. In cases of chronic depression, it is very common for partners to begin to feel more like caretakers than anything else. Very often, when ane takes on the role of flagman, it becomes such a consuming chore that the caretaker loses touch with himself/herself. It'southward a positive sign that you seem to take a solid sense not but of where she is, but also where you are. Information technology too seems like you have come to the realization that this state of affairs is non sustainable and that something must change. And then the question, every bit you insightfully pose, is where do you become from hither?
You've asked some really important questions about yourself: "Am I codependent?" "What's my issue?" "What steps can or should I take?" These questions are as important equally they are complicated. I strongly encourage you to brainstorm your own therapy. Developing a strong therapeutic relationship with a clinician will beget you lot a much-needed opportunity to focus on yourself. Y'all've managed to take intendance of your girlfriend and remain continued enough to yourself to come with these questions. A trusted therapist will help you thoroughly explore these questions, develop insights, and create and implement a plan of activity. Y'all might likewise want to look for a caretakers' support group. The burden on caretakers is significant, and at that place is great therapeutic value in realizing you lot are not solitary. Yous've been shouldering a significant brunt on your own for years; it sounds like you are fix to let someone assistance y'all deport the load.
You mention that your girlfriend's medication does not seem to be helping her. The specific mention of medication but not therapy makes me wonder whether your girlfriend is in therapy. If she is not, I would propose you encourage her to begin therapy, in addition to the medication treatment. Medication treats symptoms, simply information technology doesn't address all of the problems that often underlie depression. In social club for her to have a chance at any kind of noun change and lasting relief, she needs to be working on these bug in therapy. Also, it is very important that a psychiatrist, and not a general practitioner, be managing her medication. Psychiatrists are the experts in the medical treatment of depression, and they will be able to provide better intendance than a general practitioner.
Also, if her depression has lasted for years with no improvement, information technology might be fourth dimension to look at irresolute the treatment program. This could mean adding individual and/or group therapy to her treatment regimen, trying a new therapeutic approach, or making a modify to her medication. Consider suggesting that she talk about these possibilities with her psychiatrist and therapist (if she has 1). If, after years of treatment, she isn't getting whatsoever better, something probably needs to alter. Your girlfriend should know that she has the right to be an agile participant in her treatment plan and to discuss changes to this plan with her clinicians.
You took a leap when you lot wrote in with your question. I hope you will take another one and discover some support for yourself. This is a painful, complicated issue, and you deserve to accept support as you work on figuring out what is best for you lot.
Respectfully,
Sarah
Sarah Noel
Sarah Noel, MS, LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist living and working in Brooklyn, New York. She specializes in working with people who are struggling through depression, anxiety, trauma, and major life transitions. She approaches her work from a person-centered perspective, e'er acknowledging the people she works with equally experts on themselves. She is honored and humbled on a daily footing to exist able to partner with people at such disquisitional points in their unique journeys.
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Source: https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/dear-gt/my-girlfriends-depression-is-bringing-me-down-i-feel-helpless
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