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Dating your ex once more tin can exist a risk. If you go about it in an emotionally healthy way, you may be able to rekindle your relationship and make information technology stronger than ever. Focusing on how you've grown and what you can both to do become better partners tin can make your new relationship flourish as you try again. Past keeping a level head and communicating conspicuously, you lot tin can start dating your ex once more in a good for you, stable style.

  1. 1

    Focus on your ain life beginning. Breakups are tough, and dealing with emotional pain is never easy. Try to piece of work on yourself by eating well, exercising regularly, and working on your own personal goals.[i] If your ex sees you every bit a more well-rounded person, they'll probably be more than open to dating you lot—and this could fifty-fifty attract them to you again as they run across what they're missing.[ii]

    • Approaching your ex when you aren't doing well might lead to them pitying you, and no one wants that.

  2. 2

    Attract your ex by staying aloof. If y'all text your ex constantly or transport them letters on social media, they might feel overwhelmed. Stay focused on your own life and try to work on your goals until you lot feel confident enough to reach out again.[3]

    • Showing your ex that yous're doing fine without them tin can brand them even more attracted to you.

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  3. three

    Reach out when you feel ready. If information technology's only been a few days since your breakup, it'south probably too presently. Try texting or calling your ex when yous experience like you can handle a rejection, not when the breakup is yet fresh.[4]

    • This can exist a little tough since in that location's no set timeline for when you might feel "set up." If you just experience alone or in need of a relationship, y'all should probably wait a fiddling longer.
    • Y'all can offset the conversation by proverb something like, "Hey, could we meet up? I wanted to talk about mayhap dating once again, if you're interested."

  4. four

    Express your feelings and the reasons why you want to date once more. Most people treat breakups like the accented end of a relationship, then your ex probably isn't expecting this. Sit down with your ex and effort to list the reasons why you recollect your relationship could work this time, and be prepared to answer any questions they might have.[5]

    • You could try saying, "I know our relationship was rocky in the past. I've really been working on fixing my bad habits, and I think nosotros could really make it work this time."
    • Your ex may also say no or be hesitant about trying your relationship again, which is valid. Listen to their concerns and try to piece of work it out together.

  5. 5

    Talk about relationships yous had while you were autonomously. If you dated someone after you two dissever up, let your ex know. If they dated someone for a while likewise, ask about it. You don't accept to get into specifics, but you should both know almost whatever other relationships that happened when you weren't together.[6]

    • It can be tough to hear about what your ex did when you weren't together, but it's meliorate to find out now than be blindsided later on.
    • If your ex is upset that yous dated someone else, attempt to address their fears or concerns earlier jumping into your relationship to avoid problems downward the road.

  6. 6

    Concur to work on your old issues. When you lot've already been together, you both know about the issues that could arise in the future. As you two talk about your new relationship, be sure to address the bug that happened in the past and what yous can both practice to avoid them in the future. Try to stay away from the arraign game, and instead focus on actionable steps that you can both have.[7]

    • For instance, if y'all fought a lot about coin, concur to be more open with your finances to avoid any surprises.
    • Or, if you lot weren't on the same folio about marriage, talk about your life plans and where you see yourself in five years.
    • Or, if either of yous had trust issues, talk about being honest with each other no affair what.

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  1. i

    Have your relationship ho-hum. No matter what stage of your relationship you were in before, your new human relationship is just that: a new one. If you were living with your partner, engaged, or fifty-fifty married, merely care for your relationship like you're dating again for the kickoff time.

    • Taking things dull tin can also assist y'all both correct any negative behaviors that led to your breakdown.
    • If you were living together, consider living separately for a while, even after you've gotten dorsum together.

  2. 2

    Create new memories instead of reliving onetime ones. If you were with your ex for a while, it might be like shooting fish in a barrel to fall into the same patterns that you were used to. Endeavor do new and exciting things together to keep the human relationship fresh and rekindle your romance.[eight]

    • For case, you lot could take a weekly date night to visit a new eatery you've never been to.
    • Or, you could plan a weekend getaway to a town y'all've never visited before.

  3. 3

    Work on changing your onetime behaviors. If y'all find yourself falling dorsum into the patterns that caused bug in the first place, recognize them and work to correct them. Yous know at present what could pb to a breakup, and so try to avoid that at all costs.[9]

    • It'southward i matter to say you'll be amend with your money, but it's another thing to actually stick to your budget every month and avoid overspending.
    • You lot can also ask your partner to bank check in with you about your bad habits. If they notice anything worrying, they can let you know before it becomes a trouble.

  4. 4

    Communicate calmly and respectfully. If your partner is doing something that you have a problem with, sit them down and talk to them about it. Y'all can also enquire them to do the same thing for you. Try to talk about problems as soon as they come up up, and do information technology without yelling or blaming each other.[10]

    • Expert advice is one of the biggest indicators that a relationship will piece of work. When your communication breaks down, that'southward when the problems really start.
    • For example, you could say, "I noticed that yous're staying out belatedly once again without calling me, and that's made me upset in the past. Could we talk about this before information technology turns into a huge event?"
    • If yous're having trouble communicating, consider seeing a couple'southward advisor.

  5. 5

    Avoid talking near your breakup too much. It was probably painful for both of you, and you don't demand to remind your partner well-nigh it every day (or every fourth dimension you get in a fight). Focus on enjoying the now, not living in the by with your bad memories.

    • When you hold to rekindle your relationship, make certain you lot're over the issues that caused your breakup. If you aren't over them or you haven't made your peace with them, y'all'll probably bring them upward to hurt your partner in the time to come.

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  1. 1

    Ask yourself why you'd like to date your ex again. Is it because you lot're lonely? Or exercise you actually miss your ex for who they were? If you think that you're simply pursuing your ex once more considering y'all don't desire to be single anymore, you should take some time to piece of work on yourself.[xi] [12]

    • Getting into a relationship but to be in a relationship commonly doesn't end well, especially with someone you lot've dated before.

  2. ii

    Analyze the reasons you broke up in the first place. If y'all still aren't over it or y'all haven't fully processed it, y'all should probably hold off. Really think about the issues in your relationship and what caused your split before you showtime talking to your ex again.[13]

    • For example, if your ex cheated on you, you might have to consider whether or non you're willing to forgive them earlier you get back together.
    • Or, if you just grew apart, y'all might desire to recollect near how y'all could reconnect and rekindle your relationship in the future.

  3. three

    Recall near the bad times likewise as the skilful times. When you await back on your relationship, it's easy to just think about the times when you lot 2 were really happy. However, before you determine to pursue the relationship again, think most the times when y'all were distressing, angry, or frustrated. Are yous willing to risk going through that once more, or is it too much to handle?[fourteen]

    • If you're having trouble remembering the tough times (these tend to fade with time), consider asking your friends almost it. Chances are, they'll think when yous talked nigh your frustrations in the human relationship.

  4. 4

    Stay abroad from your ex if your human relationship was toxic. Toxic relationships can exist like shooting fish in a barrel to miss when you're in them. Retrieve nigh how often y'all and your ex fought and how good y'all were at communicating your problems. If you brought out the bad in each other, information technology might exist improve to motility on.[xv]

    • Once again, yous can talk to your friends and family unit about this, too. They've probably recognized some bad patterns in your relationship, even if you lot oasis't.

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Add New Question

  • Question

    Should I start dating my ex over again?

    Amy Chan

    Amy Chan is the Founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual arroyo to heal after the end of a relationship. Her squad of psychologists and coaches has helped hundreds of individuals in just two years of operation, and the bootcamp has been featured on CNN, Vogue, the New York Times, and Fortune. Her book most her work, Breakup Bootcamp, will be published past HarperCollins in Jan 2020.

    Amy Chan

    Human relationship Coach

    Skillful Answer

    Support wikiHow past unlocking this adept answer.

    Non necessarily. It's normal to miss your ex afterward a breakdown—your brain is all the same looking for the condolement that yous used to get in the relationship. Yet, that doesn't necessarily hateful it's a skillful thought to get dorsum together.

  • Question

    Why do I want to get back with my ex?

    Amy Chan

    Amy Chan is the Founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to heal after the cease of a human relationship. Her team of psychologists and coaches has helped hundreds of individuals in just 2 years of operation, and the bootcamp has been featured on CNN, Vogue, the New York Times, and Fortune. Her book about her work, Breakup Bootcamp, will be published by HarperCollins in January 2020.

    Amy Chan

    Relationship Jitney

    Practiced Reply

    Back up wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

    Feeling sad and missing your ex afterward a breakup is natural. When you first assemble, y'all feel a big flood of chemicals that make you lot feel exhilarated and close to your partner. During a breakup, your encephalon experiences those same chemical reactions, but in reverse.

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  • Your ex might not want to date you lot again, and that's okay. Effort to focus on yourself and motion on when you feel gear up.

  • If you lot're having problem talking to each other, consider seeing a couple's counselor to get a tertiary-party perspective.

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